Debuting our new blog to health....

Today I am debuting my new blog, “Do you have TIME to eat that?”, and it is very appropriate given the majority of us struggling to be “healthy”, whatever that means for you. I am posting this to our Caringbridge, to my first blog ”Through the Eyes of a Grieving Mother”, and now to my new blog, as it fits in all areas.

I am in a bad place. I am going to assume that May will forever be a yucky place for me since this is the month our lives were turned upside down with Evan’s diagnosis and the struggles that would ensue. What I do know is this, and I have told you this before as it is how I begin every single one of my presentations….Every single one of us will experience tragedy in our lives, some more than others. The question is what will you do with it? And I start this way so that people are open to whatever I am sharing on that day. The last thing I want is a barrier between myself and my audience. And as someone who “takes offense” on a daily basis to things that cross my path, I want these people to know that this is not about my struggle, but it is about what I have done with my struggle and that my goal above all else is to open their eyes to something they probably had no knowledge of, demystify the myths, allow them to form an opinion based on facts, and then provide them the opportunity to get involved should they feel a connection to the cause.

Today I struggled to get out of bed. Thankfully I had nothing pushing me out, and I could simply close my eyes, pray, and delay the reality of my new life by keeping the pillow over my head. Eventually my 55-pound puppy jumped up and cuddled next to me, and immediately I felt a little better. The only thing I committed myself to today was to go to CrossFit. As mentioned before, not a workout for the wimpy at heart, as you compete not only against yourself, but the others doing the workout with you. There really is no slacking off, other than you need to slow down if you feel the desire to puke, which I feel every single workout. Yet, I continue to go back. And the only reason I am there is because the owners are big supporters of helping our community and we happened to partner on running a marrow registry for a local young lady in need. The next week I was a member.

When I walked in I had no idea what the workout was going to be. I only looked up at the board long enough to see the warm up which was a 1000m row. I could do that. As I chatted with the gal next to me, I mentioned how much I hated last week’s workout, which had a 800m run at the start and end. She then had to inform me of today’s workout which was ALL running. My mood plummeted even more, if that was even possible. I wanted to RUN out the door and to my car, but knew that was not going to happen. I struggled through the warm up and then it was time. 4 minutes of deep squats, with the rest periods in the deep squat position, which is not restful at all but seriously painful. Following that was an 800m run, followed by a backward 400m run, yes I said backwards, then another 800m run followed by that darn backward run. By the time the squats were done your legs were dead as you began the run. I have NEVER run backwards for any period of time, and let me tell you how difficult it is on all levels. By the time that was over you could not wait to turn round and run forward, knowing full well what was coming next. I have never been so glad to be done with anything, and so proud of the fact I completed it, and then oh yeah, I still had to do the apple core, which is ab work and core strength. 20 walking lunges later with a 15 foot tube full of water held over your head to try to knock you off balance, 20 good mornings to do your already dead hamstrings in, and then 20 back extensions. High 5s and good jobs by everyone in the group and I actually was able to smile as I said thanks and see you tomorrow.

As I was running, thinking about The Biggest Loser and how much emotional baggage those contestants have and how the workout brings out the tears, I struggled to hold back my tears and was thankful that I didn’t have to talk to anyone and that the others were well ahead of me or well behind me. Did I mention how it is a competition and how I HAD to beat someone in my group as well as those in the group before us. They post up times and you can see where you fit in. Tears squeeked from my eyes, as I tried to contain them with all my mite, knowing full well I would be spewing out all my thoughts to you now.

Life is one big struggle. And even those who we think lead charmed lives will struggle, it just isn’t apparent to those of us looking in from the sidelines.

Had dinner with long time friends last night. My friend spoke of the recent loss of her brother in law to cancer, and how the wife and kids who had little or no faith before, now have a totally different perspective on life. Our struggles will either bring us to God or push us away. Thankfully for most of us, God becomes our refuge. And for those of us who have experienced extreme suffering, we know we had NO idea how important our faith was before and are so extremely grateful we know now. My perspective on life is forever changed, something that cannot happen unless you have suffered at an extreme level. We can never forget what we have endured and will continue to endure. And I am actually thankful for this perspective. It is a gift I will forever be grateful for.

As a kid, I grew up with two Italian parents with a dad who grew our vegetables and a mom who was extremely frugal. Pasta was part of every dinner, so I have never had a “carb” issue, as it was always cooked with veggies of some sort. That was always the starter. I had parents that were physically active, my dad went to the YMCA every single day, and my mom was a regular “substitute” bowler, remember I told you she was frugal and this way she didn’t have to pay to bowl. My parents weight always remained stable, but I do remember very clearly my dad deciding to do the “Scarsdale” Diet when I was a junior in high school. While I wasn’t skinny, I certainly wasn’t overweight, but do remember going to New York for two weeks to visit relatives and coming home having to squeeze into my pants after eating all the Italian goodies put in front of me. This was the first time that I felt uncomfortable with my weight. As a competitive swimmer, I attempted to diet but soon realized I was starving and eventually I think the weight was shed from the trip. As a senior, I fell in lust with a young man, and lost weight by default, as food no longer mattered. I then realized how nice it was to control my weight, so the scale became my best friend and regulating my calories became my mantra, and soon I was sitting at 98 pounds soaking wet, a good 10 pounds below where I should have been. By the way during Evan’s fight I dipped down to 103, not a pretty sight. At this point, I was a borderline anorexic before the disease because popular. This was 1980. The summer before I left for college, I was just 17 years of age, and was working at Swenson’s Ice Cream Parlor. By the end of summer, we had tasted every ice cream flavor, made every concoction possible, and once again I had to squeeze into my pants.

And when my parents dropped me off an hour south at UC San Diego in the fall, I was already carrying the freshman 15 from my summer of ice cream love. And for anyone who has gone away to college, you know all routine goes out the door and everything I knew about healthy eating and exercise was gone. When my weight got to a point that I could not stand it, I fasted for 10 days straight, drinking only water. And when I came off the fast, the weight came on at a speed I did not think was possible. Add mono to the mix, followed by several more illnesses due to a compromised immune system, and I weighed 148 by Christmas, a weight that I have never seen again, even when 9 months pregnant with Mary.

I struggled with the diet rollercoaster for the next 10 years, even while earning my BS in Dietetics, until my struggles with the loss of my sister to breast cancer and my infertility and my good friend Sandra showed me the way. While it started with going to her exercise classes and becoming weight training partners, I learned how I could actually change my screwed up metabolism by increasing my muscle mass, and for the last 20 plus years, I have not swayed.

I have always told my clients, if I was to write a book it would be one page long and it would be titled, “MODERATION”. I also am a huge believer in practicing what I preach, and preaching what I practice, ‘cause if I can’t do what I am asking you to do, I will lose all credibility, and that is just not acceptable to me.

So here is my book, the big secret….moderation in all aspects of your life. The calories you expend must be matched by the calories you ingest for homeostasis.
homeostasis |ˌhōmēəˈstāsis|
noun ( pl. -ses |-sēz|)
the tendency toward a relatively stable equilibrium between interdependent elements, esp. as maintained by physiological processes.

Unfortunately, most of us are not in homeostasis. Therefore, we must increase the calories we expend and/or decrease the calories we ingest. That is it. Not brain surgery. Unfortunately there is no magic pill, no magic exercise, nor magic piece of equipment, to fix this imbalance. It comes down to what you put in your mouth and what you choose to ask your body to do to find that balance, which by the way requires effort!! People don’t want to hear this, but it is the God honest truth.

The only way I will work with a new client is if they will commit to a food diary. I will tell you that the majority of people who ask to work with me never do because they are unwilling to make this commitment to themselves and to me. It is interesting that over the last few months, I have had a few family members ask for my help, finally. The thing is, they know if they ask, and I commit to them, then they have a hell of a lot of work to do. It’s a scary proposition. You will be able to follow this blog and together we can make adjustments so that you can learn to find that balance in your life. We have enough @#$%^ in our lives to deal with, so perhaps controlling the one part of our lives that we can, what we do to our bodies, will allow you to better tolerate the other struggles we will endure that we cannot control.

This blog is for you. For those of you who struggle and want to find control. We will share recipes and exercises and thoughts and try to figure out what will work for you, so that you have control of your health. For without health, we have nothing in life.

This summer I will blog daily as my sister joins Camp Cousineau. She will live with me for the summer, school nurse, and we will share the process as we allow her to regain control of her health. Might be the perfect time for you to mimic what we do with Chris, tweaked to accommodate your lifestyle, and see how you can take charge. My brother might join us as well. But the question is, who will kill who? I love Jillian on Biggest Loser by the way, so it won’t be pretty to start, but will be beautiful by the time we are done.
Stay tuned….g